John is playing in the garden

Anita and Tudor are playing with John in the garden.

They all have ice-cream.

John and Anita have vanilla ice-cream. Vanilla is John's favourite.

Which flavour do you like best?

John and Anita are getting very messy.

John wipes ice-cream from Anita's vest with his beard.

What fun!

Tudor takes some pictures with his camera. Clever Tudor.

Janet is not in the garden.

Janet is cross with John and has gone to see her friend.

Janet gave John the best years of her life.

Count the years.

Janet has left her purse in the kitchen.

See Janet coming back.

John sees Janet's car.

See John hide Tudor and Anita in his shed.

"Hello Janet", says John.

"Don't you hello me" Janet says. "Why are you so messy John?"

See John look at his shoes. John's shoes are full of ice-cream.

Janet sees Tudor and Anita looking out of the shed window.

Count to ten with Janet.

Janet slaps John.

Poor John.

See Janet give Tudor and Anita a piece of her mind.

Kind Janet.

Janet goes for a walk in the country.

Janet goes for a walk in the country.

The sun is shining, the birds are singing.

John is not at home today. John is working overtime.

Do you know what overtime is? John does.

Janet sees some blackberries. Janet likes blackberries, so does John.

Janet picks the blackberries to take home.

Do you like blackberries?

Janet's favourite is blackberry and apple pie.

John prefers a little tart.

What's your favourite?

Janet sees lots of plants and wildlife.

Do you like wildlife? John does.

In the hedgerow Janet sees Hawthorn, Elderberries and Old Man's Beard.

The Old Man's Beard belongs to John.

"Hello Janet" says John.

"Hello John" says Janet.

"Why are you dressed up in Tupperware, where are your trousers, and what are you doing hiding behind those bushes?"

"Hello Janet" says Anita.

"Hello Janet" says Tudor

Janet fetches a big stick.

See John run.

Run John, run.

John is in the bath.

See the bubbles. Splish, splash.

Janet has gone to the shops to buy some salad.

Do you like salad? John does.

There is someone at the door. Hear the doorbell "Ding-Dong!"

Hear John say some rude words.

Do you know any rude words? John knows lots.

See John run down the stairs and open the door in his bathrobe.

Why do you think John has a door in his bathrobe?

See Mrs. Dix the post-lady at the door.

"Hello Mr. Marsh" says Mrs. Dix.

"Hello Mrs. Dix" says John.

Mrs Dix says. "I have a parcel for you Mr. Marsh. Is it one of your special video films about people who have lost all their clothes?"

See John blush. Paint John's cheeks red.

"No" says John, "it is some organ music I have been waiting for.

"Mrs. Dix says "Is that your organ I can see, the big shiny one?"

"Yes" says John, "it's a 7-stop 2-manual 1938 Woodstock pipe organ but I can't use it at the moment as pumping it makes Janet"s arm ache".

"I could pump it for you" says Mrs. Dix.

Kind Mrs. Dix.

"That would be lovely" says John, "but you have to pump quite hard to get it started as my bellows are rather old and perished".

See Mrs. Dix pumping.

Pump-pump-pump.

Hear John play Bach"s Prelude & Fugue in D major. Clever John.

Mrs. Dix says "That was lovely Mr. Marsh".

See John blush again.

See Janet arrive home.

"Hello Mrs. Marsh" puffs Mrs. Dix.

"Mr. Marsh was showing me the organ in his bathrobe. He can do some wonderful things with it - even though he is out of practice".

Can you swoop down like a wolf on the fold?

Janet Can.

See Janet get a big green cucumber out of her bag.

Are you sitting comfortably?

John isn't.

Poor John.

Janet and John go for a drive

Today John is driving in his car.

John is driving to a place called "Pitlochry".

Can you spell Pitlochry? I can't.

Pitlochry is in Scotland. See the chip vans.

Do you know what the speed limit is?

Janet does.

John says he is driving perfectly thank you.

Clever John.

See the flashing blue light.

Do you know who Jensen Button is?

The policeman asks if John is Jensen Button.

The policeman is having a joke.

Jensen Button is young. John is old - see the wrinkles.

The policeman is cross with John for driving too fast.

See the policeman give John a piece of paper.

See Janet give John a piece of her mind.

Do you know any rude words? Janet does.

Janet counts the best years of her life.

Clever Janet.

Can you roll your eyes.

Janet can.

Poor John.

Janet and John are going to a firework display.

John is very excited.

See John skipping.

Janet dresses John in his best cardigan, his new Balaclava, his duffel-coat, and his mittens on strings.

Janet holds John's hand all the way to the park because it is on a very busy road.

At the park there is a great big bonfire. Do you like bonfires?

John sometimes has a bonfire in his garden.

See the neighbours get their washing in.

John has not had any tea, so Janet buys John a jumbo sausage.

Because John has been a good boy since "The organ incident" Janet goes to buy John some ice-cream.

John can't eat the sausage because he still has his mittens on.

See John waiting for the fireworks.

Silly John has forgotten to do something before he came out.

See John hopping about holding his sausage.

John needs to go to the little boys room but he doesn't know what to do with his sausage.

See Mrs. Bickerdyke.

"Eh-up fluffywhiskers" says Mrs. Bickerdyke.

Mrs. Bickerdyke is from Yorkshire - see the whippets.

John starts to cry - poor John.

"What's the matter?" says Mrs. Bickerdyke.

John sobs "I need to go to the little boys room but I don't know what to do with my sausage".

Mrs. Bickerdyke takes the sausage and says "I'll look after it for you".

Kind Mrs. Bickerdyke.

John hops off to the little boys room.

See John come back in a few minutes and takes his sausage back.

"Thank you Mrs. Bickerdyke" says John.

Janet sees John talking to Mrs. Bickerdyke.

Janet doesn't like Mrs. Bickerdyke.

Janet is very cross.

Can you grind your teeth and hiss? Janet can.

Janet shouts to John "Get over here this instant!".

John starts to cry again.

"What have I told you about talking to that woman?" says Janet.

John blubs "I needed to go to the little boys room, and I couldn"t because of my mittens, so Mrs. Bickerdyke held my sausage for me while I went".

See the fireworks.

See Janet rub ice-cream into John's beard.

Poor John.

Janet and John go to the cricket match

Janet and John have gone to the cricket match.

Cricket is a game. Do you like games? John does!

John talks to Mrs. Bickerdyke who is making tea.

She likes games too.

Mrs. Bickerdyke is from Yorkshire - see the chimneys.

John sees Mrs. Bickerdyke's baps.

Baps are John's favourite.

John asks if he can help himself.

Mrs. Bickerdyke laughs and says "Yes".

Janet sees Mrs. Bickerdyke.

Janet sometimes calls Mrs. Bickerdyke a "Yorkshire pudding".

Do you know what a Yorkshire pudding is? Can you draw a picture?

Janet sees John having a roll with Mrs. Bickerdyke and creeps up behind him to give him a surprise.

What fun!

Janet sees John holding one of Mrs. Bickerdyke's baps.

Janet slaps John.

Paint John's ear red.

See John sleep in the shed for the next three weeks.

Poor John.

John is in the garden

John likes gardens. Do you like gardens?

Janet has gone to bed with one of her "heads".

See the aspirin.

This evening, John is in Mrs. Bickerdyke's garden.

John sees lots of lovely colours. Blue, lilac, pink, and red.

John"s favourite colour is red, what"s your favourite?

John is wearing his long coat with big pockets in case it rains.

See the clouds.

John thinks that it will soon rain.

See John taking some of Mrs. Bickerdyke's washing and putting it in his big dry pockets.

Helpful John.

See Mr. Bickerdyke.

Mr. Bickerdyke is very angry.

See the veins.

See Spot, Mr Bickerdyke's dog.

Do you like dogs?

John doesn't.

Hear Spot bark.

See John jump over the fence.

Do you know how to hurdle? John does.

Do you know who the "Uckfield Phantom" is?

Neither does Janet.

Janet and John go shopping

Today, Janet and John are at the shops.

Janet is buying blue pills from the Chemist for John.

Do you sometimes feel all floppy?

John is waiting outside for Janet.

John sees Mrs. Bickerdyke.

"Hello Mrs. Bickerdyke" says John.

"Hello fluffy-whiskers" says Mrs. Bickerdyke.

See John blush.

See John look around in case Janet can see him.

"What have you been shopping for today?" says John.

Mrs. Bickerdyke shows John her new nightie.

See John blush again.

Mrs. Bickerdyke says "Are you still repairing your shed roof?" .

John says "Yes, I am".

Mrs. Bickerdyke gives John a list of shops where he can get a new roof for his shed.

"Thank you Mrs. Bickerdyke" says John.

"Goodbye fluffy-whiskers" says Mrs. Bickerdyke.

Do you know how to storm out of a shop?

Janet does.

Clever Janet.

"What did that woman give you?" says Janet.

"Mrs Bickerdyke gave me a list of cheap places where I could get felt" says John.

See Janet throw away John's blue pills and pull John along the road by his ear.

Poor John.