Bag / Trolley Management
Mr Corbey's performance on all courses is considered here.

Mr Alan "chukka putta" Thorpe's lucid analysis of additional distance walked during a round was rejected as "wimpish".

The analysis centered on the principle that if the trolley / bag is consistently left 10 yards behind the ball to be played, and some 50 fairway shots will be played by Mr Corbey per round (a minimum estimate here), the aggregate additional distance walked per round will amount to 2 x 10 x 50 = 1,000 yards per round.

This method of bag / trolley management also incurs additional time per round of 2 x 30 x 50 = 3,000 seconds or 50 minutes.

The impact on players involved in the following match should be considered for inclusion in the Gamesmanship Management category.

Abuse Management
Total failure to join in this most important part of the game was reprehensible.

Demonstrations were freely given throughout the entire four days, with particularly expert offerings from the Scottish players.

Mr Corbey's lack of usage of expletives such as "For f**k's sake" and "Yooouuu c***" was unacceptable. Particularly impressive demonstrations of the last phrase were frequently demonstrated by Mr Trevor "why always me" Dingley, and offerings from our Scottish friends, such as "That's absolute shiiite", were appreciated by all in earshot - which was invariably the whole course.

Flag Management
Two activities here, each of which could be included with validity in the Gamesmanship Management category:

1. Having observed, with satisfaction, his ball inside others on the green (albeit a rare event), the impassive observation of surrounding flora and fauna whilst playing partners awaited flag attendance / removal was again, impressive.

2. Less subtle was the absent-minded meandering behind the hole in line-of-sight of a putting partner.

However, both activities proved equally shrewd and effective.

Following the Ball Management
A matter of the failure of optimism over reality:

1. Displayed a remarkable talent for keeping a grey, bloodshot eye firmly fixed on his ball as it trickled to a halt, on most occasions straight along the fairway, for at least 10 seconds after his playing partners had moved forward to their next shot.
Say 100 shots at 10 seconds = 1,000 seconds = some 15 minutes additional time on the course

2. Occasionally finessed this technique by searching for ball a minimum of 100 yards beyond its location on the fairway in the vain hope that power golf in your 59th year is achievable.

Considered to have passed this element of the assessment, as the slightly bemused but otherwise self-satisfied smile that always accompanied this inaction, resulted in playing partners having difficulty in expressing any consequential frustration.

GUR Management
Another major triumph here, again at Newmachar:

1. Damp conditions with patchy drizzle.

2. Slow procession dragging muddy-wheeled golf trolley over newly seeded and marked GUR.

3. Good use of spiked shoes to loosen grass seed prior to removing said grass seed on muddied wheels of trolley thus leaving two perfectly straight-sided tracks in GUR completely devoid of grass seed.

Excellent result achieved with minimum effort.

Clothing Management
The high point here was undoubtedly the 14th at Newmachar when slight drizzle began to fall.

The Basil Fawlty impersonation was faultless:

1. Removing over-trousers from bag (bag falling from trolley)

2. Attempting to insert one leg with spiked shoe into said trousers without unzipping trouser leg, whilst standing on other leg and leaning on trolley (trolley falling over)

3. Removing both shoes at the same time to re-attempt 2) above thus ensuring rest of round would be played in wet socks.

Priceless.

Airport Baggage Management
Here a Master Class was offered by Mr Alan "Sandy" Kiddle with expert commentary and advice from Mr Howard "Hooker" Dingley.

Location: Gatwick Airport baggage carousel.

In the demonstration, Mr Kiddle deftly removed two flight bags (both left and right-handed pickups were performed) followed by an impressive double-hander for the golf-bag with all bags safely deposited on single trolley (no subsequent trolley movement was recorded).

Mr Corbey's initial approach to the carousel was exciting, with two other geriatric travellers pushed aside without compunction.
The golf-bag pick-up was neatly performed off the wrong foot to impart extra swing to the now horizontal bag.

Movement towards the trolley was achieved without apparent aggression, but the swinging bag deftly caught another innocent bystander behind the knees before clattering the trolley into an unsuspecting ankle.

Thus, a respectable body count of four was recorded.

Sadly, two British Airways desk staff, who eventually regained their composure after witnessing the remarkable procedure, had some difficulty in dealing with Mr Dickie "Fader" Wood's quite unreasonable complaint that his own golf-bag had not been transported from Aberdeen to Gatwick.

They failed to understand that, in spite of his consistent Scottish "performance", he would require the use of his clubs in future exhibition matches.

Gamesmanship Management
Possibly the highest score ever recorded by a rookie.

The frequency, style and timing with which Mr Corbey deftly destroyed the concentration of his playing partners as they approached their next shot was truly awesome.

The subjects chosen ranged from requesting a 10 second explanation of the Stableford handicap system to a full discourse on Texas Scramble rules with specific maths algorithms that would enable the modified Stableford (again) handicap system to be programmed into a hand-held computer.

Majestic